i am back from camp. it was tiring it was necessary it was like living with 3 days of fear and seeing all my friends cry and getting numb to crying. my ankle is quite bad after the fall of the namly hill and i went for training today. my back is bad too from all the sit ups and pushups and my throws don't have to say lah. the talk and exchange of sms with audrey made me realise that camp had another meaning and the hard work that the facils went through didn't go to waste. they only had one motive through out the camp and it was to hope that council would be good and become better. i have learnt to be positive to take things in my stride and most importantly i need to focus that i have stil yet to master and one more thing will be to speak more. share my ideas with council.

i say i fear camp. i do not fear the physical activities but i fear the concequences of not being able to complete the activity as one council or as a batch. i fear the scolding and i fear debrief. i like the stage but i just don't feel comfortable infront of the council. its just a mental block i must overcome. i have a few weeks to do so though. everything happens for a good cause even camp. camp is good for there is a reason for making us do every activity for there is a rational behind it. it made council bond. it made me close to people i never guess i would be close to and well i don't really feel that i am pushed to the limit becaused i am not so physically challenged but mentally i was challenged.

and there is this assumtion that all track people are fit i tell you it is so not true! firstly i am a thrower and so i have arm power but i am very heavy at the same time. i have bad stomach muscles i need to maintain and i am totally not good at doing push ups. running is like a taboo especially when it is long distance and to unknow places. hills are worst cos it makes my hamstring pain and i hate that part to be pain the most and lastly we are human and when we are tires everything seems like an impossible task especially when i am covered in minor but painful injuries like big blue blacks that i thought was just big patches of dirt.

i feel prepared for my coucil term but i don't want june to come. i will go for camp with an open mind but nationals will be round the corner and i just have no idea how i will be like after camp. camp is good for every batch and every council. it makes us bond but for now i don't want to go for any camp. just for now. its only 2 more and i will make it through both of the camps. but now heal my back and my ankle, speak up more,FOCUS and i will make things happen. i can and i will and i finish doing my du shu bao gao.

Audrey i hope that your back wil recover quickly too. thanks for today.
toot toot toot haha * 8:24 AM 0 rocked with me